- Blaming your farts on me. Not funny.....not funny at all!!!
- Yelling at me for barking. I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG!
- Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?
- Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose. Stop it!
- Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home!
- The slight of hand, fake fetch and throw. You fooled a dog. Woooohooo. What a proud moment for the top of the food chain.
- Taking me to the vet for the "big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back there.
- Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.
- Dog sweaters. Hellooooo.....haven't you noticed the fur?
- How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth. You're just jealous.
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