- All of your clothes have dog hair on them, even when they come back from the laundromat or dry cleaners.
- Every gift you ever get has something to do with dogs.
- Dog hair in food is just another condiment.
- Books and movies are ruined for you if the dog references are incorrect.
- All kinds of things around the house are in need of repair, but the injured dog you rescued by the side of the road requires immediate surgery and out comes the checkbook.
- Anyone can look at your (pick all that apply) --- T-shirt - sweatshirt - coffee mug - keychain - beach towel - cooking apron - couch throw - tote bag - computer - screen saver/wallpaper/mousepad/wristpad/monitor frame - gift wrapping paper - photographic displays - calendars - refrigerator magnets - weather vane - door mat - bumper stickers - umbrella - Christmas sweater - socks - embroidery project - child's collection of stuffed animals - sheets and bedspread - checks - checkbook covers - throw pillows - Home Pages --- and know immediately that you are a dog lover, AND probably what particular breed you favor. (more......)
- Complete strangers call you on the phone to ask questions because they heard you were a" dog person"
- Lintwheels are on your shopping list every week.
- More than half your grocery money goes to dog food and treats
- No matter how large your bed is, it is not large enough for you and your dog(s).
- On your 1040 form all your charitable donations are to Humane Societies, Shelters and Rescue groups.
- Nobody's feet are allowed on the furniture, but your dogs are welcome to sleep on any piece they so choose
- Order 250 Xmas photos of just the dog, no family in photos.
- The dog's kibble is stored in 45 gallon garbage cans, and the water is kept in a bucket with it's own drip tray under it. (Score extra if you have had a water tap installed over the bucket to save time, or [for longhaired breeds] if you keep a towel lying permanently on the floor to soak up drips and squeegee around with your foot.)
- The largest display of collectibles in the house is dog stuff -- plates, photos, cards, etc.
While proudly showing off your family album, your guest asks, "Isn't there anyone else in your family besides the dog?"
- You and the dog come down with something like flu on the same day. Your dog sees the vet while you settle for an over-the-counter remedy from the drugstore.
- You become paranoid about keeping ID on your dog at all times (collar, tags, microchip, tattoo), but don't bother to carry any ID yourself.
You believe every dog is a lap dog.
- You break down and buy another pillow so you can have one to sleep on
- You buy premium quality dog kibble for your dog, but live on take-out, frozen pizza, and blue-box macaroni and cheese yourself.
- You buy vitamin supplements for your dog and administer them daily (wrapped in cheese if necessary), but consider yourself fortunate if you remember to take your own more than twice a week.
- You carry pictures of your dog in your wallet instead of pictures of your parents, siblings, significant other, or anyone else remotely human. (my husband actually does this!!)
- You don't think it's the least bit strange to stand in the back yard chirping "Meg, pee!" over and over again, while Meg tends to play and forget what she's out there for (but what your neighbors think of your behavior is yet another story).
- You hate to go to the grocery store for people food, but when the dog treats are gone, off you go with no hesitation, even at the busiest time.
- You have 32 different names for your dog. Most make no sense, but the dog understands them all.
- You have a plastic kiddie wading pool in the back yard, but no kids. (Double points if you have a pool for each dog.)
- You keep license tags from dogs that have passed away.
You no longer have to buy extra large garbage bags, because the empty, 40 pound dog food bags work just as well
- You refer to yourselves as Mommy and Daddy.
- You snuggle closer to the dog than the person with whom you are sleeping
- Your dog gets a deep cut on the pad of his foot and gets emergency medical attention at the vet; but you break your toes and settle for taping them together with duct tape and taking some aspirin to kill the pain.
- Your mom calls and asks how the granddogs are.
- You've memorized the vet's phone number. (Bonus points if you have his home phone memorized as well.)